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Know thy mediator self
12 November 2006At the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is “self-actualization” a state where our basic physical and psychological needs are met and one can move on to becoming self-actualized. Self actualization is about reaching one’s fullest potential.
It is interesting to note that many of the qualities of a self-actualized person are coterminous with the qualities of a successful mediator. Qualities such as:
- Creativity;
- Embracing and confronting the real facts, rather than denying or avoiding them;
- Spontaneity in ideas and actions (Improvisational Negotiation anyone?)
- Keen interest in problem solving — particularly the problems of others (our bread and butter)
- Closeness to other people and enjoyment of life (have you hung around with other mediators at conferences? a true joie de vivre);
- Internalized system of morality; and
- Judge others without prejudice in a way that can be objective.
I’m not suggesting that just because you call yourself a “mediator” you have somehow become self-actualized, I’m just noting some similarities, room for growth and an interesting overlap in core qualities.
Aside from these core qualities, it is useful to understand your own personality.
My favorite tool I have recently discovered is the ancient enneagram. While the enneagram is over 800 years old and has been embraced in multiple world traditions, it continues to be relevant and empowering today. At the recent ACR annual conference, I attended a workshop by Louise Phipps Senft (a mediator with Baltimore Mediation) entitled, “Mediator Self-Awareness & Emotional Intelligence.”
After a brief introduction to the enneagram, Louise had everyone self-identify their type (there are nine different core personality types). She also provided useful information on how each type can contribute to causing conflict with others.
The ethics of the enneagram require self-identification only, you are not to label others. It is a process of inner reflection that leads to self-observation.
There is a tool that builds off the ennegram called the print. The print is not true enneagram because in addition to the nine types the print will also assign you a sub-type. I personally liked the tool as you take an on-line assessment test and based on your answers the test changes the questions to hone in on your types. So, while my dominant enneagram type is a 7 (the epicure who avoids pain and thrives on options), my minor type is a 3 (the Performer who is very task and goal oriented).
You can only get the print personality profile through a coach that has been certified in the process. I used Michelle Hess of The Learning Ground.
The print helps you to identify your core personality strengths and also the “shadow qualities” that could be present or that you may want to keep a look out for. It is very helpful not only in recognizing your personality traits that you bring to the mediation table, but also in determining how to go about building your practice. If you’re interested in learning more about the print personality profile, Michelle is offering people who mention my name a 60% discount and will give you the on-line test and then a 60-74 minute telephonic debrief with her. (A bargain for $120).
I found some recent “learning experiences” I had resulted from my distaste of boredom and some impulsivity (also spontaneity in other contexts). Armed with greater self awareness, you can think strategically about how you can best build your dream practice. You will also have insight into how to most effectively hire team members that will accelerate your success.
The Myers Briggs personality test is also helpful (I’m an ENTP) but the ennegram has greater depth.
Know thy mediator self. You will become a better mediator by engaging in the activity of self-exploration and you will also be better able to diagnose what you need help with and what is comfortable for you to do as you go about building and marketing your dream mediation/ADR practice.
Build your dream mediation practice today.
NEVER GIVE UP!
Your partner in peace,
Kristina Haymes
www.mediationmarketingsecrets.com
January 30th, 2008 at 10:15 am
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